Giansus · the · Prophet

It might be the medicine from the surgery, but I don't know. I feel like I've been abandoned. I think I finally realized I've never had any emotional support in my life. Sure, my parents were here to give me soup or whatever but when I needed them they weren't there. I think a person can only rely on oneself for so long until he just has to stop because there's no more to give. Crying won't help, it's for no one's benefit. What can one ask for to actually feel alive, not just a trapped animal to be used when needed. Meh, maybe I I'll never find out what it's like to have someone to rely on, a person I can talk to, someone I could try to relate to. Maybe I have myself to blame but I don't know and frankly don't care anymore. I don't know why I'm typing this, I've never shown my true emotions to anyone, not even my family and especially not my parents. They've shut me out with or without knowing it and I feel like I'm degrading myself on the inside. I don't know or don't care how much I'm worth, I think I just need a reason to be now. Meh...I don't know...